Words – Disintegration

PLAINSONG

"I think it's dark and it looks like rain" you said
"And the wind is blowing
Like it's the end of the world" you said "And it's so cold it's like the cold if you were dead" And then you smiled for a second "I think I'm old and I'm feeling pain" you said "And it’s all running out
Like it's the end of the world" you said "And it’s so cold it's like the cold if you were dead" And then you smiled for a second Sometimes you make me feel Like I'm living at the edge of the world Like I'm living at the edge of the world
"It’s just the way I smile" you said

PICTURES OF YOU

I've been looking so long at these pictures of you
That I almost believe that they're real
I've been living so long with my pictures of you
That I almost believe that the pictures are
All I can feel

Remembering
You standing quiet in the rain
As I ran to your heart to be near
And we kissed as the sky fell in
Holding you close
How I always held close in your fear
Remembering You running soft through the night You were bigger and brighter and wider than snow And screamed at the make-believe Screamed at the sky And you finally found all your courage To let it all go Remembering You fallen into my arms Crying for the death of your heart You were stone white So delicate Lost in the cold You were always so lost in the dark
Remembering You how you used to be Slow drowned You were angels So much more than everything Hold for the last time
Then slip away quietly Open my eyes but I never see anything If only I'd thought of the right words I could have held on to your heart If only I'd thought of the right words I wouldn't be breaking apart All my pictures of you Looking so long at these pictures of you But I never hold on to your heart Looking so long for the words to be true But always just breaking apart My pictures of you There was nothing in the world That I ever wanted more Than to feel you deep in my heart There was nothing in the world That I ever wanted more Than to never feel the breaking apart All my pictures of you

CLOSEDOWN

I'm running out of time
I'm out of step and closing down
And never sleep for wanting hours The empty hours of greed And uselessly Always the need To feel again the real belief Of something more than mockery
If only I could fill my heart with love

LOVESONG

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again

However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you Whenever I'm alone with you You make me feel like I am free again Whenever I'm alone with you You make me feel like I am clean again However far away I will always love you However long I stay I will always love you Whatever words I say I will always love you
I will always love you

LAST DANCE

I'm so glad you came
I'm so glad you remembered
To see how we're ending
Our last dance together
Expectant
Too punctual
But prettier than ever
I really believe that this time it's forever

But older than me now
More constant
More real
And the fur and the mouth and the innocence
Turned to hair and contentment
That hangs in abasement
A woman now standing where once
There was only a girl

I'm so glad you came
I'm so glad you remembered
The walking through walls in the heart of December
The blindness of happiness
Of falling down laughing
And I really believed that this time was forever

But Christmas falls late now
Flatter and colder
And never as bright as when we used to fall
All this in an instant
Before I can kiss you
A woman now standing where once
There was only a girl

I'm so glad you came
I'm so glad you remembered
To see how we're ending
Our last dance together
Reluctantly
Cautiously
But prettier than ever
I really believe that this time it's forever

But Christmas falls late now
Flatter and colder
And never as bright as when we used to fall
And even if we drink
I don't think we would kiss in the way that we did
When the woman
Was only a girl

LULLABY

On candy stripe legs the spiderman comes
Softly through the shadow of the evening sun
Stealing past the windows of the blissfully dead
Looking for the victim shivering in bed
Searching out fear in the gathering gloom and
Suddenly!
A movement in the corner of the room!
And there is nothing I can do
When I realize with fright
That the spiderman is having me for dinner tonight...

Quietly he laughs and shaking his head
Creeps closer now
Closer to the foot of the bed
And softer than shadow and quicker than flies
His arms are all around me and his tongue in my eyes
"Be still be calm be quiet now my precious boy
Don't struggle like that or I will only love you more
For it's much too late to get away or turn on the light
The spiderman is having you for dinner tonight"

And I feel like I'm being eaten
By a thousand million shivering furry holes
And I know that in the morning I will wake up
In the shivering cold
And the spiderman is always hungry...

FASCINATION STREET

Oh it's opening time
Down on Fascination Street
So let's cut the conversation
And get out for a bit
Because I feel it all fading and paling
And I'm begging
To drag you down with me
To kick the last nail in
Yeah! I like you in that
Like I like you to scream
But if you open your mouth
Then I can't be responsible
For quite what goes in
Or to care what comes out So just pull on your hair Just pull on your pout And let's move to the beat Like we know that it's over If you slip going under Slip over my shoulder So just pull on your face Just pull on your feet And let's hit opening time Down on Fascination Street So pull on your hair Pull on your pout Cut the conversation Just open your mouth Pull on your face Pull on your feet And let's hit opening time Down on Fascination Street

PRAYERS FOR RAIN

You shatter me
Your grip on me
A hold on me
So dull it kills
You stifle me
Infectious sense
Of hopelessness and prayers
For rain I suffocate I breathe in dirt And nowhere shines But desolate And drab the hours all spent On killing time again All waiting for The rain You fracture me Your hands on me A touch so plain So stale it kills You strangle me Entangle me In hopelessness and prayers
For rain
I deteriorate I live in dirt And nowhere glows But drearily and tired The hours all spent On killing time again All waiting for The rain

THE SAME DEEP WATER AS YOU

Kiss me goodbye
Pushing out before I sleep
Can't you see I try?
Swimming the same deep water as you is hard
"The shallow drowned lose less than we"
You breathe
The strangest twist upon your lips
"And we shall be together..."

"Kiss me goodbye
Bow your head and join with me"
And face pushed deep
Reflections meet
The strangest twist upon your lips
And disappear
The ripples clear
And laughing
Break against your feet
And laughing
Break the mirror sweet
"So we shall be together..."

"Kiss me goodbye"
Pushing out before I sleep
It's lower now and slower now
The strangest twist upon your lips
But I don't see
And I don't feel
But tightly hold up silently
My hands before my fading eyes
And in my eyes
Your smile
The very last thing
Before I go... I will kiss you
I will kiss you I will kiss you forever on nights like this I will kiss you
I will kiss you And we shall be together...

DISINTEGRATION

Oh I miss the kiss of treachery
The shameless kiss of vanity
The soft and the black and the velvety
Up tight against the side of me
And mouth and eyes and heart all bleed
And run in thickening streams of greed
As bit by bit it starts the need
To just let go
My party piece

Oh I miss the kiss of treachery
The aching kiss before I feed
The stench of a love for a younger meat
And the sound that it makes
When it cuts in deep
The holding up on bended knees
The addiction of duplicities
As bit by bit it starts the need
To just let go
My party piece

But I never said I would stay to the end
So I leave you with babies
And hoping for frequency Screaming like this in the hope of the secrecy Screaming me over and over and over I leave you with photographs Pictures of trickery Stains on the carpet and Stains on the scenery Songs about happiness murmured in dreams When we both us knew How the ending would be... So it's all come back round
To breaking apart again Breaking apart like I'm made up of glass again Making it up behind my back again Holding my breath for the fear of sleep again Holding it up behind my head again Cut in deep to the heart of the bone again Round and round and round And it's coming apart again Over and over and over Now that I know that I'm breaking to pieces I'll pull out my heart And I'll feed it to anyone Crying for sympathy Crocodiles cry for the love of the crowd And the three cheers from everyone Dropping through sky Through the glass of the roof Through the roof of your mouth Through the mouth of your eye Through the eye of the needle It's easier for me to get closer to heaven Than ever feel whole again I never said I would stay to the end I knew I would leave you
With babies and everything Screaming like this in the hole of sincerity Screaming me over and over and over I leave you with photographs Pictures of trickery Stains on the carpet and Stains on the memory Songs about happiness murmured in dreams When we both of us knew How the end always is How the end always is...

HOMESICK

Hey hey!
Just one more
And I'll walk away All the everything you win Turns to nothing today And I forget how to move When my mouth is this dry And my eyes are bursting hearts In a blood-stained sky Oh it was sweet It was wild And oh how we... I trembled Stuck in honey Honey Cling to me... So just one more Just one more go Inspire in me the desire in me To never go home Oh just one more And I'll walk away All the everything you win Turns to nothing today So just one more Just one more go Inspire in me the desire in me To never go home

UNTITLED

Hopelessly drift
In the eyes of the ghost again
Down on my knees
And my hands in the air again
Pushing my face in the memory of you again
But I never know if it's real
Never know how I wanted to feel
Never quite said what I wanted to say to you Never quite managed the words to explain to you Never quite knew how to make them believable And now the time has gone Another time undone
Hopelessly fighting the devil Futility Feeling the monster Climb deeper inside of me Feeling him gnawing my heart away Hungrily I'll never lose this pain Never dream of you again